2013 Goals

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” I Pet 3:1

I am not overly submissive - why should I be when my husband doesn't pay any attention to me and my he is not being submissive to the word of God? Oh yea - because the Bible tells me so. 

My goal this year is to put this verse into my heart and into practice and see how God changes my heart and my husbands as well. 

It's not even the end of January, and I've already failed so many times - so my pledge is to take one day at a time. 

Here's what I want to do:

1) Not complain, grip, or nag my husband

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.Pr 21:9

A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;Pr 27:1

It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.Pr 21:1

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.Pr 25:2

A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.Pr 19:13

2) Pray - 

A) When I am disappointed with my husband - or hurt - I will pray about it instead of telling him

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Pet 1:7

B) Intercede

First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people,ITim 2:1

3) Be Nice

I will be nice to him - I know I have so much hurt and anger built up that I am not nice very often

But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6:35

4) Serve Him

I get frustrated when I serve him because I don’t think he deserves it, I am angry and don’t want to, and he never serves me so why should I serve him

I know his love language is service – so I need to be a servant to him – whether or not it is returned to me

Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Matt 20:28

5) Have More Fun

My husband is a fun person, with everyone but me. His friends love him, I need to figure out how to enjoy him again. I did at one time – before hard feelings developed.

6) Have more sex
No more needs to be said

“Lord, please change me and through me change my husband. But, even if he never changes and chooses to love You fully and love me as You want him to, help me to love him as you have loved me – before I deserved it. Change my heart and help me love my husband simply because I love You and You want me to.”

Chosen Last

I was never chosen last in gym class. I was often the chooser, the first one picked, or at least the first girl. I was althletic, a cheerleader - encourager for the team, and likable. I never knew what it felt like to stand on the sidelines, waiting for my name to be called - until now.

Why does my husband always choose me last? I should be a first round draft pick, instead I am left waiting for my name to be called. Waiting for him to notice that I am still sitting on the sideline. Wanting to be first in his life, and realizing I may never will be.

What do his friends, his activities, and our daughter have that I don't? Why does he always choose them over me? Why does he see me as the looser, picking my nose as I wait for him to call my name?

Once again, I watch this game of life from the sideline, not feeling as if I am a part of his life. Am I supposed to cheer for him from out in the bleachers, or swear at him under my breath?

How do I glorify God from this subsidiary position in his life?

1) Remind myself who I am in Christ - through scripture

I have a tendancy to practice lots of negative self talk. When my husband leaves me out of his life, I tell myself there is something wrong with me. I am not worthy of being loved. I don't deserve to be chosen first. I'm failing as a wife. I must remind myself who I am in Christ.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He choose me in Him before the foundation of the world that I would be holy and blameless before Him." Eph. 1:3 - 4

God chose and continues to choose me.

2) Pray - for my attitude and behavior

Being chosen last, makes me spiral from feelings of hurt, to anger, to depression.

"I am laid low in the dust; perserve my life accourding to Your word.My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word." Ps. 119:25 & 28

3) Pray for my husband

I don't believe his actions are godly. I want the best for him, and the best is always putting God first. I believe if he would choose God first, I would be the second round draft pick, and not the last or the one not chosen.

"Lord, I know my husband has forgotten his first love - You. Show him from where he has fallen, show him his need to repent, and how he needs to do the deeds he did when he was truely in love with You." (based on Rev. 2: 3-4)

4) Blog

Duh. When I write down my thoughts, I have a chance to work through the negative feelings and they don't come out of my mouth like vomit all over my husband. Yes - I have thrown-up my anger and frustration on him many a time, but all it leaves is a bad taste in my mouth, and gives him sour feelings towards me.

Once again, I am trying to crawl out of the sinking sand and stand on solid ground. I need to realize that even when I am not chosen first by my husband, I have already been chosen by the Lord. I am on the winning team.